She's Taking My Name!

So one day, Raquel tells me that she doesn't want to take my name because she's afraid of losing who she is now. This was a shock to me because, like most people, I assumed she would take my name like most other women do. I won't lie and say it didn't crush my heart a little. I think it was more because of the suddenness of it than anything.

I used to always think that women who hyphenated their names or even never took their husbands' name were just crazy feminazis who didn't want to give in to society or feel like the husband was in complete control. I got to thinking about it after she said that and came to realize that it is a justifiable fear. It may not seem like it, especially to men like myself, but I'm sure changing who you are is very frightening.

Because of this, I told her to look into it. Why is it tradition that women take men's names? Why did her/my mother do it? What's the meaning behind it? I told her after she found out and made a knowledgeable decision, I would support her.

We found this article where the (woman) writer talked in great detail about how the tradition came to be, what it's purpose was, etc. and at the very end in a closing note, she wrote that she chose to take her husband's name because not only does she love and respect him, but also God and what he has given to us in the form of marriage. This spoke to Raquel and gave her a different view on the matter. For that reason alone, not because the state/country says you should, not because government says you should, or even for tradition, but for the love and respect of our God and me, my angel of a fiance who God sent to me is choosing to take my name upon marriage.



To read her story, go here.